Here is another post on affairs, cheating, infidelity, being unfaithful or whatever other euphemism you may want to call it. All those words amount to the same feeling – usually – betrayal!
Feelings of betrayal are the most likely outcome if there was an agreement – implicit or explicit – of sexual exclusivity. A committed relationship between two people usually means just that. They agree to be committed to one another and that involves a great deal of trust that a partner will remain faithful and respectful to the relationship and refrain from any activity that may jeopardize this agreement.
The sense of betrayal more often than not leads to a grieving process involving shock, denial, anger, confusion, sadness and a host of other feelings that usually go together with the experience of loss.
Elly Taylor in smh.com.au, July 31 2012, discusses the language that may be used when discussing this topic of cheating in her article “The Language We Use To Discuss Cheating“.
Taylor says, “Some affairs are a ‘cry for help’. They can happen because someone is unhappy with the relationship, but is unable or unwilling to work on the problems or terminate the relationship in a respectful way. Quite often, the cheating party doesn’t necessarily want a relationship with the person they are cheating with. Couples can recover from this type of affair if it becomes apparent where things went wrong and both parties are committed to making things work again.
Other affairs happen because someone wants out of a relationship, and wants to be with the person they are cheating with. In 90% of the cases, it doesn’t work out. At this point the ‘cheater’ may want to reconcile with the original partner but often the original partner has moved on.
Then finally, you have someone who wants to reap all the benefits of being in a committed relationship, but wants to have fun on the side as well. This type of affair is completely narcissistic and involves premeditated and sustained deception and the straying party is also likely to be psychologically and emotionally abusive to the partner. If someone is a “serial offender” like this and doesn’t really want to change, it would be best for the couple to separate and rebuild their lives separately.”
Relationship Counselling by Christine Bennett Caring4Couples