For many separated parents, school holidays can become one of the most challenging times of the year.
While children often look forward to holidays as a time for fun, relaxation and making memories, parents may find themselves worrying about who has the children, how long they’ll stay with each parent, travel arrangements, family traditions, and balancing everyone’s expectations.
The good news is that these issues don’t have to become a source of conflict.
A well-designed Parenting Plan can provide clarity, reduce misunderstandings, and help children enjoy their holidays knowing exactly what to expect.
Why School Holidays Can Create Conflict
During the school term, routines are generally predictable. School attendance naturally structures where children are and when changeovers occur.
School holidays are different.
Parents may disagree about:
- How the holidays should be divided.
- Whether the holidays should be shared equally.
- Interstate or overseas travel.
- Christmas, Easter and other special occasions.
- Time with grandparents and extended family.
- Taking children on holidays with new partners.
- Work commitments and childcare arrangements.
- Notice required before making holiday plans.
Without clear agreements, uncertainty can quickly lead to frustration, arguments and disappointment.
Putting Children First
Children benefit most when they are free to enjoy time with both parents without feeling caught in the middle.
They shouldn’t have to worry about adult disagreements or feel responsible for making decisions about where they spend their time.
Parents who are able to cooperate and communicate respectfully provide children with a sense of security and stability, even after separation.
A Parenting Plan helps create that stability.
What Should a Parenting Plan Include?
Every family is different, but a comprehensive Parenting Plan usually considers:
School Holiday Arrangements
Will holidays be:
- Shared equally?
- Divided into weeks?
- Alternated each year?
- Adjusted around work commitments?
Some families divide each holiday in half, while others alternate entire holiday periods.
The best arrangement is the one that works for your family and, most importantly, meets your children’s needs.
Christmas and Special Days
Many parents choose to alternate:
- Christmas Eve
- Christmas Day
- Boxing Day
- New Year’s Eve
- Birthdays
- Mother’s Day
- Father’s Day
Some families split Christmas Day itself, while others alternate the entire Christmas period each year.
There is no “one-size-fits-all” approach.
Travel
It’s helpful to agree in advance about:
- Notice required before booking holidays.
- Providing travel itineraries.
- Emergency contact details.
- Passport arrangements.
- Interstate or overseas travel.
- Consent requirements.
Planning ahead can prevent unnecessary conflict.
Communication During Holidays
Children often appreciate staying in touch with the parent they’re not with.
A Parenting Plan can outline:
- Phone calls.
- Video chats.
- Appropriate times to make contact.
- Flexibility if children are busy enjoying activities.
Keeping communication child-focused rather than parent-focused helps children feel connected to both parents.
Flexibility Is Important
Life changes.
Children grow older.
Sport, employment, friendships and changing interests all influence holiday arrangements over time.
A Parenting Plan should provide structure while allowing enough flexibility for parents to accommodate changing circumstances through respectful discussion.
The Benefits of Family Mediation
Many parents assume they need lawyers to resolve parenting disagreements.
In reality, mediation often provides a less stressful, faster and more affordable way to reach practical agreements.
During mediation, both parents have the opportunity to discuss concerns, explore options and develop solutions that suit their family’s unique circumstances.
Because parents create the agreement together, they are often more committed to making it work.
Helping Children Enjoy Their Holidays
Children rarely remember who “won” an argument.
They remember feeling relaxed, loved and free to enjoy time with both parents.
When parents work together to create clear holiday arrangements, children gain predictability, security and the freedom to simply be children.
A thoughtfully prepared Parenting Plan can reduce conflict, minimise misunderstandings and provide a roadmap that helps everyone navigate school holidays with greater confidence.
If you’re finding it difficult to agree on holiday arrangements or other parenting issues following separation, family mediation can provide a safe and constructive environment to work towards practical, child-focused solutions.
Ready to Create a Parenting Plan That Works?
If you’re struggling to agree on school holiday arrangements, Christmas, travel, or other parenting issues after separation, you don’t have to work it out alone.
Family Dispute Resolution (mediation) provides a safe, respectful and confidential environment where parents can explore practical solutions that put their children’s wellbeing first. Reaching agreement through mediation is often faster, less stressful and more cost-effective than going to court.
Whether you’re creating a Parenting Plan for the first time or updating an existing arrangement as your children grow, I’m here to help.
To arrange a Family Dispute Resolution appointment or to discuss how mediation may help your family, please contact Christine Bennett today. Together, we can work towards practical agreements that support your children and reduce conflict for the future.
Christine Bennett
Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner
North Shore Family Mediation
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