Month: July 2026

The school holidays are meant to be a time of fun, family connection and creating memories. But for many couples, the weeks after the holidays can bring an unexpected challenge: feeling tired, disconnected, or even more distant from each other.

You may have spent two weeks managing children’s activities, family commitments, travel, finances, meals, and changing routines. Perhaps you worked hard to make the holidays enjoyable for everyone — but somewhere along the way, your relationship was placed at the bottom of the priority list.

Now that school has returned and normal routines are starting again, this can be an important moment to reconnect as a couple.

Why do couples often struggle after the holidays?

During busy family periods, couples often move into “management mode”. Conversations become focused on:

• Who is picking up the children?
• What needs to be organised?
• What bills need paying?
• What activities are happening this week?

These conversations are necessary — but they don’t always create emotional connection.

Over time, couples can begin to feel more like co-managers of a household than loving partners.

You might notice:

• More arguments over small things
• Feeling unappreciated or taken for granted
• Less affection or intimacy
• Feeling lonely despite being together
• Avoiding difficult conversations because you are both exhausted

Often, the issue is not that couples have stopped loving each other. It is that the demands of life have interrupted the connection they once shared.

The post-holiday reset: three ways to reconnect

1. Make space for a gentle conversation

Many couples try to solve problems when they are already frustrated. A better approach is to create a calm moment to reconnect.

Instead of starting with:
“Why don’t you ever help more?”

Try:
“I feel like we have been so busy lately, and I miss feeling close to you. Can we find some time to reconnect?”

A softer beginning creates safety and makes it easier for both partners to listen.

2. Notice the stress underneath the conflict

Arguments are often not really about the surface issue.

A disagreement about money, housework, parenting, or time together may actually be about deeper needs:

“I want to feel valued.”

“I want to know we are a team.”

“I miss feeling important to you.”

Imago Relationship Therapy helps couples look beneath recurring conflicts to understand the feelings and unmet needs that are driving the tension.

When couples learn to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness, even difficult conversations can become opportunities for greater understanding.

3. Bring back small moments of connection

Rebuilding connection does not require grand romantic gestures.

Small, consistent moments often make the biggest difference:

• A hug before leaving the house
• Ten minutes talking without phones or distractions
• Asking “How are you really feeling today?”
• A walk together
• Expressing appreciation for something your partner did

Relationships are strengthened through repeated moments of feeling seen, heard and valued.

Don’t wait until things become a crisis

Many couples seek counselling only when resentment has built up for years. But relationship support is not only for couples in crisis.

Counselling can help couples:

• Improve communication
• Break negative patterns
• Rebuild emotional connection
• Navigate parenting pressures
• Strengthen their relationship for the future

The return to school after holidays can be a powerful opportunity to press the reset button — not only on routines, but on your relationship.

If you and your partner feel disconnected, stuck in the same arguments, or simply want to strengthen your bond, Imago Relationship Therapy can help you understand each other in a deeper way.

Reconnect. Understand each other. Build a stronger relationship.

For your convenience, appointments are available in the following locations:

ERINA, CENTRAL COAST NSW
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CROWS NEST, SYDNEY NSW
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ONLINE – SECURE MEETING ROOM
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MAKE AN ENQUIRY

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Christine Bennett
Imago Relationship Therapist
Caring4Couples – Reconnecting Intimacy and Connection

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For many separated parents, school holidays can become one of the most challenging times of the year.

While children often look forward to holidays as a time for fun, relaxation and making memories, parents may find themselves worrying about who has the children, how long they’ll stay with each parent, travel arrangements, family traditions, and balancing everyone’s expectations.

The good news is that these issues don’t have to become a source of conflict.

A well-designed Parenting Plan can provide clarity, reduce misunderstandings, and help children enjoy their holidays knowing exactly what to expect.

Why School Holidays Can Create Conflict

During the school term, routines are generally predictable. School attendance naturally structures where children are and when changeovers occur.

School holidays are different.

Parents may disagree about:

• How the holidays should be divided.
• Whether the holidays should be shared equally.
• Interstate or overseas travel.
• Christmas, Easter and other special occasions.
• Time with grandparents and extended family.
• Taking children on holidays with new partners.
• Work commitments and childcare arrangements.
• Notice required before making holiday plans.

Without clear agreements, uncertainty can quickly lead to frustration, arguments and disappointment.

Putting Children First

Children benefit most when they are free to enjoy time with both parents without feeling caught in the middle.

They shouldn’t have to worry about adult disagreements or feel responsible for making decisions about where they spend their time.

Parents who are able to cooperate and communicate respectfully provide children with a sense of security and stability, even after separation.

A Parenting Plan helps create that stability.

What Should a Parenting Plan Include?

Every family is different, but a comprehensive Parenting Plan usually considers:

School Holiday Arrangements

Will holidays be:

• Shared equally?
• Divided into weeks?
• Alternated each year?
• Adjusted around work commitments?

Some families divide each holiday in half, while others alternate entire holiday periods.

The best arrangement is the one that works for your family and, most importantly, meets your children’s needs.

Christmas and Special Days

Many parents choose to alternate:

• Christmas Eve
• Christmas Day
• Boxing Day
• New Year’s Eve
• Birthdays
• Mother’s Day
• Father’s Day

Some families split Christmas Day itself, while others alternate the entire Christmas period each year.

There is no “one-size-fits-all” approach.

Travel

It’s helpful to agree in advance about:

• Notice required before booking holidays.
• Providing travel itineraries.
• Emergency contact details.
• Passport arrangements.
• Interstate or overseas travel.
• Consent requirements.

Planning ahead can prevent unnecessary conflict.

Communication During Holidays

Children often appreciate staying in touch with the parent they’re not with.

A Parenting Plan can outline:

• Phone calls.
• Video chats.
• Appropriate times to make contact.
• Flexibility if children are busy enjoying activities.

Keeping communication child-focused rather than parent-focused helps children feel connected to both parents.

Flexibility Is Important

Life changes.

Children grow older.

Sport, employment, friendships and changing interests all influence holiday arrangements over time.

A Parenting Plan should provide structure while allowing enough flexibility for parents to accommodate changing circumstances through respectful discussion.

The Benefits of Family Mediation

Many parents assume they need lawyers to resolve parenting disagreements.

In reality, mediation often provides a less stressful, faster and more affordable way to reach practical agreements.

During mediation, both parents have the opportunity to discuss concerns, explore options and develop solutions that suit their family’s unique circumstances.

Because parents create the agreement together, they are often more committed to making it work.

Helping Children Enjoy Their Holidays

Children rarely remember who “won” an argument.

They remember feeling relaxed, loved and free to enjoy time with both parents.

When parents work together to create clear holiday arrangements, children gain predictability, security and the freedom to simply be children.

A thoughtfully prepared Parenting Plan can reduce conflict, minimise misunderstandings and provide a roadmap that helps everyone navigate school holidays with greater confidence.

If you’re finding it difficult to agree on holiday arrangements or other parenting issues following separation, family mediation can provide a safe and constructive environment to work towards practical, child-focused solutions.

Ready to Create a Parenting Plan That Works?

If you’re struggling to agree on school holiday arrangements, Christmas, travel, or other parenting issues after separation, you don’t have to work it out alone.

Family Dispute Resolution (mediation) provides a safe, respectful and confidential environment where parents can explore practical solutions that put their children’s wellbeing first. Reaching agreement through mediation is often faster, less stressful and more cost-effective than going to court.

Whether you’re creating a Parenting Plan for the first time or updating an existing arrangement as your children grow, I’m here to help.

To arrange a Family Dispute Resolution appointment or to discuss how mediation may help your family, please contact Christine Bennett today. Together, we can work towards practical agreements that support your children and reduce conflict for the future.

Christine Bennett
Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner
North Shore Family Mediation

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