Tag: relationships

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Christmas Is Coming: Could Your Relationship Benefit from a Little Support Before the Festive Season?

Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year. But for many couples and families, the lead-up to Christmas can also be one of the most stressful.

Between shopping, financial pressures, family commitments, organising celebrations, navigating in-laws and managing expectations around children, the festive season can place considerable strain on even the strongest relationships.

What should be an enjoyable time of connection and celebration can quickly become a source of tension, frustration and arguments.

But what if this year could be different?

Couple enjoying a happy, relaxed Christmas together

Why Christmas Can Put Extra Pressure on Relationships

Christmas has a way of bringing existing relationship difficulties to the surface. Issues that might ordinarily be manageable can become magnified when couples are juggling additional responsibilities and competing expectations.

Some common sources of tension include:

  • Different expectations: One partner may want a traditional family Christmas, while the other prefers something quieter or different.
  • Family commitments: Deciding whose family to visit, how much time to spend with relatives and managing potentially difficult family dynamics.
  • Financial stress: The pressure to buy gifts, entertain, travel and create the perfect Christmas can put additional strain on household finances.
  • Parenting disagreements: Differences in expectations around children’s activities, presents, discipline and how Christmas Day is shared.
  • Unequal responsibilities: One partner may feel they are carrying the bulk of the planning, shopping, cooking and organising.
  • Blended family challenges: Negotiating Christmas arrangements, particularly where children are spending time between separated parents and extended families.
  • Unresolved relationship issues: Existing disagreements, communication difficulties or feelings of disconnection can become more difficult to manage under pressure.

Often, it isn’t Christmas itself that causes the problem. Rather, the additional demands of the season expose difficulties that may already exist within the relationship.

How Can Couples Counselling Help Before Christmas?

Couples counselling isn’t just for relationships in crisis. In fact, seeking support before things reach breaking point can be one of the most positive steps couples take towards strengthening their relationship.

Engaging in couples counselling in the lead-up to Christmas provides an opportunity to pause, reflect and address concerns before they develop into bigger disagreements.

Here are some ways counselling can help.

1. Improve Communication and Reduce Arguments

When couples feel unheard or misunderstood, even relatively minor disagreements can escalate.

Counselling provides a supportive environment where both partners can express their concerns, feel heard and better understand each other’s perspectives.

Learning to communicate more constructively can make a significant difference to how couples manage the inevitable pressures of the festive season.

2. Manage Expectations and Find Common Ground

Christmas can mean different things to different people.

One partner may place great importance on family traditions, while the other may feel overwhelmed by the expectations and obligations that come with them.

Counselling can help couples identify what matters most to each of them, negotiate compromises and establish shared expectations that work for both.

3. Navigate Family and Parenting Pressures

Extended family relationships and parenting responsibilities can be particularly challenging at Christmas.

Couples may disagree about where to spend Christmas Day, how to manage family expectations or how much time and money to allocate to celebrations.

Counselling can help couples approach these discussions as a team, rather than allowing differences to become a source of conflict.

4. Share Responsibilities More Equitably

The mental and practical workload associated with Christmas can leave one partner feeling overwhelmed, unsupported or resentful.

Talking through these concerns in counselling can help couples recognise the pressures each is experiencing and develop a more balanced approach to sharing responsibilities.

Sometimes, simply feeling that your partner understands and appreciates your contribution can make a considerable difference.

5. Reconnect and Strengthen Your Relationship

Amid the busyness of everyday life, couples can sometimes lose sight of the connection that brought them together in the first place.

Counselling provides an opportunity to reconnect, acknowledge what is working well and identify ways to bring more understanding, affection and appreciation into the relationship.

It is not always about fixing what is wrong. Sometimes it is about strengthening what is already there.

Don’t Wait Until After Christmas to Address Relationship Difficulties

Many couples put off seeking counselling because they believe their problems aren’t serious enough, or they simply don’t have the time.

Others tell themselves they will deal with things after Christmas, when life settles down.

Unfortunately, postponing difficult conversations can allow frustration and resentment to build, making the festive season considerably more difficult than it needs to be.

Taking some time now to work on your relationship may help you approach Christmas with greater understanding, cooperation and a renewed sense of connection.

You don’t need to be on the brink of separation to benefit from couples counselling.

Give Your Relationship the Gift of Understanding This Christmas

Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. Families don’t have to agree on everything, and couples won’t always see things the same way.

What matters is how you navigate those differences together.

A willingness to listen, compromise, communicate respectfully and support one another can make a real difference to the atmosphere at home and the enjoyment of the festive season.

At Caring4Couples, we provide a supportive and confidential environment where couples can explore relationship concerns, improve communication and develop practical strategies for managing challenges together.

Whether you are experiencing recurring disagreements, feeling disconnected or simply want to improve your relationship before the Christmas rush, counselling can provide a valuable opportunity to make positive changes.

Why wait until the new year to invest in your relationship?

Give yourselves the opportunity to enjoy a more peaceful, connected and meaningful Christmas.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Every relationship experiences challenges, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.

Whether you’re experiencing communication difficulties, recurring conflict, feeling disconnected or simply wanting to strengthen your relationship, couples counselling can help you gain a better understanding of each other and develop practical ways to move forward together.

Appointments are available in-person or online for your convenience:

  • Erina and North Wyong – Central Coast NSW
  • Crows Nest – Sydney NSW
  • Online – Australia-wide

Make an Enquiry or Book an Appointment

About the Author

Christine Bennett is an experienced Relationship Therapist, Imago Relationship Therapist, Family Mediator, Counsellor and Coach with over 20 years’ experience supporting individuals, couples and families.

Through Caring4Couples, Christine provides compassionate, practical and professional support to help couples improve communication, resolve conflict, rebuild connection and develop healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Her approach recognises that every relationship is different and that meaningful change begins with understanding, empathy and a willingness to work together.

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Money, Mental Well-being & Connection — The Modern Challenges for Australian Couples

1. Why This Matters Right Now in Australia

In 2025, Australian couples face unique stressors—rising cost of living, work-life imbalance, mental health pressures, housing strain—all converging to put pressure on relationships. National surveys show 79% of Australians have experienced relationship pressures in the past six months.

These influences make couple therapy more vital than ever—to not only preserve relationships, but to foster resilience, transparency, and well-being.

Financial stress and housing crisis affects a couple's well-being and creates a heavy stress load.

2. Financial Tensions & “Money Secrets”

  • Money causes conflict for a majority: Around 58% of Australian couples say finances are a major source of discord.
  • Financial infidelity is highly damaging: Roughly 1 in 5 Australians believe financial deception (e.g., hiding debt, secret spending) is a worse betrayal than romantic infidelity.
  • Hidden lies about spending and debt are common: Of Australians admitting to financial deception, 33% lied about spending, 25% about debt levels, and 24% about things like coffee or takeaway expenses.
  • Women under more financial stress: A staggering 53% of Australian women report experiencing financial stress—especially those in partnerships or with children.

Recommended: Transparency and shared planning can restore trust. Tools like dual personal/joint accounts, regular open money check-ins, and joint budgeting are essential. Financial stress shouldn’t be navigated in silence.

3. Mental Health & Relationship Harmony

  • Relationship conflict impacts mental well-being: Among nearly 7,000 Australian adults, marital harmony (or conflict) accounted for nearly 10% of variance in mental health self-assessments, measured via HILDA data.
  • Mental health challenges are systemic: In any given year, an estimated 1 in 5 Australians aged 16–85 experience a mental health disorder.

Engaging in therapy may help to normalize mental health struggles, support coping strategies, and encourage partners to cultivate empathy for each other’s lived emotional experiences.

4. Communication & External Pressures

While stats on miscommunication like mishearing are more global, Australians face specific challenges:

  • Housing stress – especially in metropolitan areas, can strain emotional bandwidth and time together.
  • Graphical spread and multicultural dynamics add unique pressures to intimacy and understanding.

Therapeutic tools: Encourage scheduled device-free time, emotional check-ins, and culturally sensitive communication work—especially when physical distance or life changes press on the relationship.

5. How These Pressures Intertwine in Sessions

Scenario: Consider “Emily and Josh”—a couple juggling mortgage stress, Emily’s anxiety, and fights over small expenses like takeaways. The tension becomes emotional distance, and long silences at night deepen disconnection.

Counselling path:

  1. Psycho-education: Explore how financial stress and anxiety amplify each other.
  2. Finance strategy: Introduce a blended money approach—combined essentials + individual “freedom fund”.
  3. Emotional tools: Establish a “feelings check-in” at week’s end and daily tech-free connection rituals.
  4. Mental health work: Normalise anxiety, suggest individual support through counselling and explore mindfulness or stress-reduction as couple activities.

6. To summarise: The Most Pressing Themes for Aussie Couples in 2025

  1. Financial strain & deception: Over half of Aussie couples face money stress; hidden debts or spending betray trust.
  2. Mental health interwoven with relationship quality: Emotional well-being is both affected by—and affects—relationship dynamics.
  3. Communication challenged by time poverty, finances, and living situations: The typical Australian couple may juggle jobs, childcare, work-from-home setups, and the cost-of-living—not leaving much emotional bandwidth.

Key Take-away: Focus on holistic healing—repairing trust through financial clarity, supporting each other’s mental health, and rediscovering emotional connection amidst everyday challenges. It’s in this blend that relational resilience thrives.

Christine Bennett
Imago Relationship Therapist
Caring4Couples-Reconnecting Intimacy

#caring4couples #financialstress #mentalhealth #costofliving #anxiety #couplescounselling

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What Matters Most for Couples Today: Reconnection in a Disconnected World

In today’s world, couples face more distractions, pressures, and emotional noise than ever before. While we’re more digitally connected, many couples tell me they feel emotionally distant. They love each other, but something’s missing.

Reconnect with your partner in a disconnected world

So what matters most for couples today?

  • Reconnection.
  • Not just talking—but truly listening.
  • Not just sharing space—but sharing presence.
  • Not just resolving problems—but healing together.

Here’s what I see in my work with couples every week—and what helps partners reconnect and grow stronger, even when life gets busy or overwhelming:

1. Digital Overload, Emotional Underwhelm

Smartphones, social media, and endless notifications often replace real conversations. It’s easy to sit next to someone you love and still feel far away.

Try this: Set aside 15–30 minutes each day just for each other. No screens, no multitasking—just eye contact, curiosity, and the simple question: “How are you, really?”

2. Invisible Labour, Uneven Load

Many couples today are struggling with the unspoken burden of mental load—keeping track of schedules, worries, and to-dos. One partner may feel overwhelmed and alone in the “thinking” work.

Try this: Talk honestly about emotional and mental responsibilities. Sharing the load isn’t just practical—it builds trust and connection.

3. Emotional Safety Over Perfection

Couples often worry about saying the “right thing” or avoiding conflict. But true intimacy isn’t about perfection—it’s about safety.

Try this: Slow down and really listen. In Imago Relationship Therapy, we use structured dialogue to help each partner feel truly heard and validated. Even difficult conversations can become moments of healing.

4. Purposeful Time Together

In the rush of life, it’s easy to drift into “parallel living”—functioning well as a team, but losing emotional closeness.

Try this: Schedule time just for you as a couple. A weekly walk, a quiet meal, or a simple check-in can keep your relationship nourished.

5. Healing, Not Blaming

Old wounds often resurface in close relationships. Many couples don’t realise that conflict is an invitation—not to fight harder, but to understand more deeply.

Try this: Instead of “Why are you doing this to me?” try “What does this bring up for you?” Imago helps couples uncover the childhood patterns that shape adult reactions—so you can stop the cycle and start connecting.

6. Resilience Through Uncertainty

From global stress to personal challenges, couples today face a lot. But those who lean toward each other instead of away can come out stronger.

Try this: Share your fears, not just your plans. Let your partner see your vulnerability. That’s where true partnership begins.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

If your relationship is feeling strained, disconnected, or stuck in old patterns—please know: you’re not failing. You’re human. And help is available.

At Caring4Couples, I offer a safe space to explore what’s not working—and rediscover what can. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, we’ll work together to turn conflict into connection and rebuild the intimacy you long for.

Let’s start with a complimentary 20-minute phone consultation
* Request a time today!

Christine Bennett
Imago Relationship Therapist
Caring4Couples – Supporting Connection That Lasts

#CouplesTherapy #RelationshipSupport #ImagoTherapy #Caring4Couples #MarriageCounselling #EmotionalConnection #HealthyRelationships #CouplesCommunication #RelationshipHealing

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How Low Self-Esteem Impacts Relationships

Low self-esteem can have a significant impact on our relationships with others. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, we may struggle to connect with others, trust them, or communicate effectively. Here are some ways that low self-esteem can impact our relationships:

Low self-esteem has impact on intimate relatioships.

1. Difficulty Trusting Others

When we suffer from low self esteem and don’t feel good about ourselves, we may struggle to trust others. We may feel like we’re not worthy of love or respect, which can lead us to believe that others will inevitably let us down. This can make it difficult to form close relationships or to open up to others.

2. Communication Problems

Low self-esteem can also impact our ability to communicate effectively with others. We may struggle to express our needs and emotions, or we may find ourselves becoming defensive or argumentative when others try to communicate with us. This can create tension and conflict in our relationships.

3. Neediness and Insecurity

When we have low self esteem, we may become overly dependent on others for validation and support. This can lead to neediness and insecurity in our relationships, which can be overwhelming for our partners. We may also struggle to set boundaries or to assert ourselves in our relationships.

4. Negative Self-Talk

Low self-esteem can also lead to negative self-talk, which can impact our relationships in subtle ways. We may be overly critical of ourselves, which can lead us to be critical of others as well. We may also struggle to accept compliments or positive feedback from our partners, which can create tension and frustration.

5. Difficulty Resolving Conflicts

Finally, low self-esteem can make it difficult for us to resolve conflicts in our relationships. We may struggle to see our own role in the conflict, or we may become defensive or shut down when our partners try to address issues with us. This can lead to unresolved conflicts and ongoing tension in our relationships.

Low self-esteem can have a significant impact on our relationships with others. If you struggle with low self-esteem, it’s important to work on building your self-confidence and self-worth. This can help you to form healthier, more fulfilling relationships with others. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect, and you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.

#lowselfesteem #relationships #conflict #communication #boundaries #negativeselftalk #neediness #insecurity #trust

Christine Bennett – https://www.caring4couples.com.au

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How to Resolve Conflict for Couples

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but it can be difficult to navigate when it arises between you and your partner. Whether you’re experiencing a disagreement over something small or something more significant, it’s important to approach conflict with a mindset of resolution and understanding. Here are some tips for couples experiencing conflict:

  1. Listen to each other: When conflict arises, it’s important to listen to your partner’s perspective. Try to understand where they’re coming from and why they feel the way they do. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their feelings, and instead, give them your full attention.
  2. Communicate effectively: Communication is key when it comes to resolving conflict. Be clear and concise about your own feelings and thoughts, and try to avoid using accusatory language. Instead of saying “you always do this,” try saying “when this happens, it makes me feel…” This approach can help your partner understand your perspective without feeling attacked.
  3. Take a break if needed: If the conflict becomes too heated, it’s okay to take a break. Sometimes stepping away from the situation can help you both cool down and approach the conversation with a clearer mindset. Just be sure to agree on a time to reconvene and continue the discussion.
  4. Find common ground: When you’re experiencing conflict, it’s easy to focus on your differences. However, finding common ground can help you both move toward resolution. Try to identify areas where you both agree, and build from there.
  5. Seek outside help if needed: If you’re having trouble resolving conflict on your own, seeking outside help can be beneficial. Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you both work through your issues in a safe and supportive environment.

Remember, conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. By approaching conflict with a mindset of resolution and understanding, you and your partner can work through your differences and strengthen your relationship in the process.

#RelationshipAdvice #CommunicationSkills #ConflictResolution #CouplesTherapy #HealthyRelationships #LoveAndRelationships #MarriageCounseling #CoupleGoals #RelationshipGoals #BuildingStrongRelationships #CoupleCommunication #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipTips #CoupleTherapy #RelationshipCounseling #HealthyMarriage #RelationshipHelp #CoupleConflict #MarriageGoals #CoupleGoalsAchieved #RelationshipSupport #CoupleSupport #LoveWins #HappilyEverAfter

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IMPACT OF CURRENT FINANCIAL CLIMATE ON MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS

It’s no secret that the COVID-19 pandemic has left many people uncertain about their financial future. With widespread job losses and reduced incomes, the economic fallout from the pandemic has left many couples struggling to cope with financial stress.

According to a recent survey conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education, over a third of Americans say that money is the biggest source of stress in their relationships. This is hardly surprising, given that financial worries can lead to arguments, tension, and even breakups.

One way that the pandemic has impacted marriage relationships is by highlighting existing disparities in financial literacy and money management skills. For couples who were already struggling with financial issues before the pandemic hit, the sudden loss of income and increased financial pressure may have added an extra layer of stress to an already difficult situation.

On the other hand, the pandemic has also forced some couples to re-evaluate their spending habits and priorities. With many restaurants and entertainment options closed, couples may have had to find new ways to have fun and spend time together. This may have led to a greater emphasis on saving money and being more mindful about spending habits.

Overall, the impact of the current financial climate on marriage relationships is complex and multifaceted. While the pandemic has certainly added an extra layer of stress to already-tense situations, it has also created opportunities for couples to work together to navigate difficult financial times. By being open and communicative about their financial concerns, couples can weather the storm together and emerge stronger on the other side.

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How do you know when you love someone?

How DO you know when you love someone?  “Is it love?” is a common question asked when cupid’s arrow strikes. So what IS the real deal?

Nature is very clever in design. Our Maker new what he/she was up to when chemistry was included as part of the human package. When eyes meet across that legendary crowded room and the heart beats faster and there is the strangest feeling in the pit of the stomach……Is that love??

No, that is a hormone rush!! A bucket load of endorphins is released and it feels sooooo good!!! It is also a big con! It is nature’s con to ensure the procreation of the human species.That chemical rush – commonly known by the term “falling in love” cannot possibly be sustained. It can last up to two years max, otherwise our whole endocrine system would fall down flat.

The trouble is it feels so wonderful, that those stricken with this form of psychosis want it to last forever. It can’t. Just like a drug addict cannot maintain high levels of drugs of addiction without serious consequences.

I found an interesting article to follow on from this called titled “How do you know when you love someone?” Following is an excerpt and by following the links, you can read the whole article……..

“I used to believe that love was a light switch. Something flicks on. You get an overwhelming sensation. It hits you like a bag of bricks. Or a strong arrow. When you know, you know. Right? Not so much. After 38 years and an expired marriage, I don’t see love that way anymore.  I’ve placed Cupid right next to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Love is a series of choices.  The first choice is based on many many factors, including chemistry, principle, logic, humor, intelligence, body type, where we are in our lives, what we want / need… the list goes on and on, and the weight of each factor varies depending on the individual.  Based on these factors, we either choose to begin the process to love or not. If we decide to enter this process, the action of loving can bring “light switch” moments. The way he looks at you. How hard she make you laugh. The notes he hides in your purse. The way she makes you feel when you don’t feel anything. But like an airplane flight, there is turbulence. The fights. The disagreements. The little things that bother you. His socks. Her shopping. You start wondering if you’ve made the right choice. Once you are in doubt, you have to make another choice. To continue to fly with this person or jump out of the plane. This choice is based on a thousand other factors, again depending on the individual and where they are in their journey.

If you decide to jump, the scary free fall will either make you stronger (grow) or miserable (depressed). But sooner or later, you’ll find yourself back at the airport waiting to board another plane. Then you hit turbulence. Or maybe there is no turbulence. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about the destination.  Either way, another choice. Fly or jump?”

Read full article: How do you know when you love someone?

Relationship Counselling by Christine Bennett caring4couples.com.au

 

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Love and the Law of Attraction for Healthy Relationships

Love just like anything else in the Universe is subject to the Law of Attraction.

This law states that like attracts like. It is a simple matter of physics and when it comes to love – our own emotions are what matters.

How we feel about ourselves is vitally important to who we attract into our life as friends, colleagues, and most importantly intimate partners.

So if we feel down on ourselves, we don’t feel good enough, confident enough, attractive enough – the list could go on and on…….then that is who we will attract as a partner. We will attract our mirror image. Whatever emotional wounding we have suffered during our childhood will be mirrored in our partner. Guarranteed!! This is the basis of the work of Harville Hendrix who is the author of “Getting the Love You Want” amongst others.

Harville Hendrix is an American psychologist who founded what he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. The foundation of the therapeutic process involves what is called the Imago Dialogue where the therapist facilitates a dialogue around a particular frustration that is getting in the way of the couple’s connection to one another. It is usually because a wound has been triggered and one or both partners have gone into their defense strategy, shutting each other out.

The concept of attracting a like person is illustrated very nicely by Denise Scarbro (Huffington Post, 27 July 2012) in her article “The Trick to Attracting Healthy Relationships“.

Scarbro says, “Have you ever felt like you always attract a certain type of person? I know I have! The same kinds of people seem to present themselves to me all the time. They may have different faces and different names, but in the end the same themes are always there. Not too long ago, I kept finding myself with an emotionally unavailable boyfriend; misunderstood people gravitated to me; needy people always wanted to be my friend; and if there was ever an underdog, we inevitably somehow teamed up. I found myself thinking, “What am I putting out there to attract these people to me?”

For a while, I arrogantly thought I drew these people to me because I had so much strength. Maybe I was supposed to help fix them? Like a moths to a flame, they were drawn to me because my light was shining for everyone who needed my help. Well, my believed strength did not make the boyfriends emotionally available; I was not able to build the self-esteem of the needy people; the misunderstood never gained any new insights; and the underdogs were still underdogs no matter what wisdom and examples I thought I shared. I was usually left disappointed, hurt, or annoyed. So why was I attracting these people?”

Click here to continue reading “The Trick to Attracting Healthy Relationships“.

Please leave your comments. I’d love to hear from you!

Relationship Counselling by Christine Bennett Caring4Couples
Certified Imago Relationship Therapist

 

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Lest We Forget….

Today is ANZAC Day and the TV is tuned to the traditional ANZAC Day march. My partner is watching, I am only hearing. I’m hearing the marching bands play their traditional music, I’m hearing the commentators do what commentators do. And as all this proceeds I remember my father and grandfathers who are no longer here to march.

As children, my sister and I would sit with Mum, glued to the television set, anxiously waiting for a glimpse of Dad as he marched with his mates from  the 5th Australian Survey Battery.

I am reminded again of the passing of time. As the saying goes, the only constant in life is change. This is true of war, family relationships, friendships and intimate relationships. They aren’t supposed to stay the same. However it can take some conscious adjustment to accept that life goes on and people we once loved as an integral part of life, have passed on.

Thank goodness for babies! As much as I miss my Dad, my daughter is busy breeding. So far two delightful boys keep me on my toes and there is a little girl on her way to arrive soon. The flow of life continues as nature intended…..

Intimate relationships also have their natural flow. Starting off at conception with the fire of passion and uncertainty, a healthy relationship will evolve over time into a more stable, mature entity. Like anything worthwhile it needs to be nurtured, given loving attention and above all involve the utmost respect.

“World-renowned researcher on marriage and relationships, Dr. John Gottman, says there are four negative patterns that often sound familiar to fighting couples.”

Gottman refers to the these four negative elements as “the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

In summary Gottman’s Four Horsemen are:

  1. Criticism
  2. Contempt
  3. Defensiveness
  4. Stonewalling or the silent treatment

According to Gottman, there are three things you should never say in a fight with your partner.

  1. Your never…
  2. You always
  3. Anything insulting, or acted superior

Are you guilty? What would you need to do in order to protect your relationship form these negative Four Horsmen? Please leave your comments! They are welcome here 🙂

Author: Christine Bennett Marriage Counselling at caring4couples.com.au

 

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