How do you know when you love someone?

How DO you know when you love someone?  “Is it love?” is a common question asked when cupid’s arrow strikes. So what IS the real deal?

Nature is very clever in design. Our Maker new what he/she was up to when chemistry was included as part of the human package. When eyes meet across that legendary crowded room and the heart beats faster and there is the strangest feeling in the pit of the stomach……Is that love??

No, that is a hormone rush!! A bucket load of endorphins is released and it feels sooooo good!!! It is also a big con! It is nature’s con to ensure the procreation of the human species.That chemical rush – commonly known by the term “falling in love” cannot possibly be sustained. It can last up to two years max, otherwise our whole endocrine system would fall down flat.

The trouble is it feels so wonderful, that those stricken with this form of psychosis want it to last forever. It can’t. Just like a drug addict cannot maintain high levels of drugs of addiction without serious consequences.

I found an interesting article to follow on from this called titled “How do you know when you love someone?” Following is an excerpt and by following the links, you can read the whole article……..

“I used to believe that love was a light switch. Something flicks on. You get an overwhelming sensation. It hits you like a bag of bricks. Or a strong arrow. When you know, you know. Right? Not so much. After 38 years and an expired marriage, I don’t see love that way anymore.  I’ve placed Cupid right next to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Love is a series of choices.  The first choice is based on many many factors, including chemistry, principle, logic, humor, intelligence, body type, where we are in our lives, what we want / need… the list goes on and on, and the weight of each factor varies depending on the individual.  Based on these factors, we either choose to begin the process to love or not. If we decide to enter this process, the action of loving can bring “light switch” moments. The way he looks at you. How hard she make you laugh. The notes he hides in your purse. The way she makes you feel when you don’t feel anything. But like an airplane flight, there is turbulence. The fights. The disagreements. The little things that bother you. His socks. Her shopping. You start wondering if you’ve made the right choice. Once you are in doubt, you have to make another choice. To continue to fly with this person or jump out of the plane. This choice is based on a thousand other factors, again depending on the individual and where they are in their journey.

If you decide to jump, the scary free fall will either make you stronger (grow) or miserable (depressed). But sooner or later, you’ll find yourself back at the airport waiting to board another plane. Then you hit turbulence. Or maybe there is no turbulence. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about the destination.  Either way, another choice. Fly or jump?”

Read full article: How do you know when you love someone?

Relationship Counselling by Christine Bennett caring4couples.com.au

 

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Viagra and TMI when dating

When things start to look like heating up on a date does a guy say to his girl, “Well , should I take my Viagra yet”?

To ask or not to ask – this is the question!

I read a story in the Huffington Post recently which discussed this topic really well. As you  may imagine, the woman was less than impressed with her date’s lack of decorum, discretion and delicacy…..let alone his sense of romance!

While this can be a real dilemma for some older guys who need Viagra or other sexual performance drugs to “perform”, younger men are apparently using SPDs to ensure performance on demand after a few drinks and hooking up with a willing candidate for the night.

So, how is this done without losing the romance and sounding tacky??

As Viagra and Cialis take so little time to do their job, does it need to be mentioned at all???? Why spoil the moment?

In the Huffington Post story the guy was concerned about the cost of the drug. He didn’t want to waste $10.00 if he wasn’t on a done deal. His concern about cost simply added to the already compromised romantic position in which he had placed himself.

Here is an excerpt from “The Little Blue Pill” by Marcy Miller in Huffington Post, July 26, 2012.

“Viagra has dramatically altered the entire dating landscape. The sex lives of the young, middle-aged and the old will never be the same.

Take young men. No longer must a young man be worried about his performance or about having a few drinks before “hooking up.” He can pop a little pill at the beginning of the evening and relax, knowing that he is prepared for any conquest that may come his way.

On the other end of the timeline, there are the young women who marry old guys for their money. In order to fulfill their part of the deal, it used to be that the girls did not have much to worry about in the sex department — they just needed to be sweet “arm candy.” Now, with the invention of sexual performance drugs (SPD’s), these women have their work cut out for them.”

Here is the link again to “The Little Blue Pill” .

Your comments would be appreciated – both from guys and gals!

Relationship Counselling by Christine Bennett Caring4Couples

 

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How important is humour when it comes to sex?

According to Laurie Davis from yourtango.com, adding a generous dose of laughter and humour to your repertoire can do wonders for your sex life whether you are single and dating or well ensconced in couplehood.

A recent study on humour revealed that 87% of men and 74% of women say that “humorous flirtation can get them in the mood for sex”.

In the American study, 43% preferred a partner with a “goofy” sense of humour and 64% agreed “that besides chemistry, a ‘sense of  humor’ is the most important quality for a successful relationship”.

Read full article: Why Humor is Sexy: A Zoosk Study by Laurie Davis

Author: Christine Bennett Marriage Counselling at caring4couples.com.au

 

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