Marriage – What is the best age?

MARRIAGE – WHAT IS THE BEST AGE TO SAY “I DO”?

More and more couples are waiting longer to enter marriage these days rather than opt to walk down the aisle in late adolescence or early twenties as was the norm in earlier generations.

Recent research by Nicholas Wolfinger (University of Utah) indicates that the ideal age range to ensure a successful marriage is between 28 and 32 years.

ringsAccording to Wolfinger “The odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties.” He also believes that “thereafter, the chances of divorce go up again as you move into your late thirties and early forties.”
Source: Independent.co.uk

To me it makes some sense that an older couple embarking on the journey of marriage are more likely to succeed long term. However, there are always two sides to every story and I’ll give 10 points here for and against. I’d love to hear your comments  at the end of this post!

MARRIAGE: ADVANTAGES OF WAITING UNTIL LATE TWENTIES, EARLY THIRTIES

  1. There has been time to “grow up” and forge a solid identity.
  2. In knowing who you are, it is easier to identify a potential partner who will support and encourage your life goals and vice versa.
  3. There has been time to complete studies or career training without other commitments and responsibilities.
  4. Careers take energy and commitment to establish – easier to do without competition from spouse and/or children.
  5. There has been time to “play the field”, experimenting with different relationships.
  6. Experiencing relationships with a variety of partners makes it less likely to feel trapped or wondering if the right choice has been made.
  7. If travel is important, then marrying later allows time to explore wider horizons, foot loose and fancy free.
  8. Greater financial resources are available.
  9. There is more likelihood of entering marriage with eyes wide open.
  10. After experiencing life living independently, you are more likely to enter marriage with a preference for sharing your life with a loving partner, rather than through fear of being alone.

MARRIAGE – ADVANTAGES OF MARRYING YOUNG

  1.  Less chance of being let down by multiple partners resulting in wounds carried into future relationships.
  2. Less jealousy and insecurities about your partner’s romantic history.
  3. An opportunity to grow up together.
  4. There is a larger market of eligible potential partners around the younger you are.
  5. Time to enjoy traveling together, sharing resources before children arrive.
  6. Having a loving partner to support while study is completed and careers are established.
  7. For a woman falling pregnant becomes more difficult with age. So early marriage provides the opportunity to take advantage of the most fertile years.
  8. There is time to enjoy married life together before feeling the pressure of starting a family.
  9. Young couples are more likely to be more adaptable to each other rather than being set in their ways.
  10. Entering marriage at an earlier age is perfect for enjoying safe and regular sexual intimacy when your libido is at it’s peak.

So, what do you think? Is the research valid? I would love to hear your comments and experience related to this topic. And please share!

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What is the Secret to a Happy Marriage?

Welcome to today’s Blog. I’m going to be lazy today and refrain from spending too much time at the computer as I have had a tendency in the last month to blow up electrical appliances. To date, I have needed to purchase a new phone, new laptop and figure out why software that once worked on my Windows 7 machine no longer does – necessitating an upgrade that I would have preferred not to make….

Yesterday the circuit breaker tripped that supplies power to all my office equipment including computer, printer, land phone etc….Fortunately that was just the flick of a switch to get things happening again. Then, thinking it was time to get some washing done, I proceeded to laundry to push the appropriate buttons on that machine…….

No….nothing happened. Washing was transported today to be cleansed in my daughter’s machine. Washing machine fix-it man can’t come for another week!! Methinks I could be looking at another new purchase as said machine is now 19 years old. It probably deserves to be retired.

Meanwhile, I was interviewed by Kerrie Davies from Northside Magazine about relationships these days compared to days gone by. The topic of her article is “Did Our Grandparents Know the Secret of a Happy Marriage?”

Please click the link above to access the article. And please! Add your comments below. Do you agree or disagree with the views put forward in the article? Which are the biggest challenges we face these days in intimate relationships?

Author: Christine Bennett Marriage Counselling at caring4couples.com.au

 

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Would an affair mean the end of your marriage or relationship?

“Do affairs cause bad marriages … or do bad marriages cause affairs?

All affairs can cause bad marriages but not all bad marriages cause affairs. Having an affair, cheating on a spouse, is no way to solve problems in a marriage.

While it certainly can be true that problems in a marriage can lead to loneliness, unhappiness and sadness, making a decision to have an affair is the responsibility of the person who makes the choice to cheat.”

Sally Connolly discusses the different reasons for affairs in her blog article Bad  Marriages and Affairs (April 3 2012). It makes interesting reading and invites the question of what comes first? Does a bad marriage lead to an affair or does an affair bring on the demise of a marriage?

What are your views and /or experience? If your partner had an affair would it mean the end of your relationship for you? Feel free to start a discussion!

Author: Christine Bennett Marriage Counselling at caring4couples.com.au

 

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